a taste of living hell

sleep comes and goes like the passing shadows of clouds, light and then less light and back again, no pattern. just countless obscurities that lull and pass. such is sleep in the bed of the sick. why am i still sick?! over a week and still the illness clings to me like some bloodsucking creature with every tooth and claw embedded in my flesh, gripping deeper as i peel it away just to hang on longer.

I have concluded that a living hell for me would be extended periods of illness, being maimed or lamed. How do people live with continuing medical conditions? terminal illnesses? I cannot fathom the horror of a life on medication to treat symptoms that ail day after day. This is not living life, this is fighting off death.

Perhaps I'm hyperbolizing. I'm just really angsty that I'm still sick. Time could not pass fast enough. I value my health more than anything in life and yet, it consistently fails me. Maybe I'm not doing enough. Maybe I'm not doing it right. or maybe I'm just degenerate, susceptible and deluded. Though some might argue that falling ill and recovering makes the body stronger, builds the immune system. If that's the case, I've well payed my dues in time, now PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE just leave my body! Move on! Get out! You've overstayed your welcome!